Only the Destroyed Man Can Love in The Kite Runner
Another writing dump from Sophomore year (last year). This one's on The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. I felt quite ambivalent about the book and decided to take a cynical position.
In The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini, Hosseini uses characterization to make the same statement about selfishness with every major character. A central theme in the novel is that only when a character has lost the right to respect himself, can he learn to be loving, as seen in Amir’s redemption, Hassan’s loyalty, Baba’s humanitarianism, and Assef’s continued sadism.
Most strikingly, Amir develops from a selfish character to a selfless one, at the moment that he realizes there is no other way he could live. It comes in two parts. The first is when he agrees with Rahim Khan to go get Sohrab. In the span of a few hours, he loses all respect for himself, and at the same time, he accepts what must be done. Rahim Khan tells him two things: that Hassan is dead, and that Baba was his father. Sitting in a cafe, he thinks to himself. “I can’t go to Kabul, I had said to Rahim Khan. I have a wife in America, a home, a career, and a family. But how could I pack up and go back home when my actions may have cost Hassan a chance at those very same things” (226). Everything that had ever mattered to him was gone: yes, Hassan, but with him his respect for his home, his respect for his father, and his father’s respect for him. His entire self-respect. “I kept seeing Baba on the night of my graduation, sitting in the Ford he’d just given me, smelling of beer and saying, I wish Hassan had been with us today” (225). With this loss comes a great gain. What before he could never do, to forgive himself, was now inevitable. What else could he do with his life? Just as he said, he could not return home when Hassan had no home, so he has no choice. Perhaps there was a way to be good again, but really there was only one way to live, “With a little boy. An orphan. Hassan’s son. Somewhere in Kabul” (227). Retrieving Sohrab is now the only thing his life is for.
Just as Amir’s emotional redemption occurs in the moment he resigns all that he respects, he has something of a physical redemption, when he truly gives up his entire being. This occurs in the fight with Assef. He loses all respect for his entire existence, and allows himself to be fully at Assef’s hands, so that he can save Sohrab. “I don’t know at what point I started laughing, but I did…. What was so funny was that, for the first time since the winter of 1975, I felt at peace…. My body was broken - just how badly I wouldn’t find out until later - but I felt healed” (289). It’s not the pain that sets Amir free, it is his relinquishing of self-respect. Only through this can he find true self-respect in the form of saving Sohrab. This contrasts with his earlier attempts at the same thing with Hassan. When he pelted Hassan with pomegranates, hoping Hassan would get angry, Hassan simply complied. Hassan respected Amir too much, and so Amir could not lose his self-respect. Assef provided something Hassan never could. Assef’s raw hatred allows Amir to feel hated - and to hate himself. And through this, he can start again, and learn to love himself, as well as Sohrab. When Sohrab starts to rely on Amir, and Amir starts to give him what only a family can, the positive effects of Amir’s redemption - what Amir might mistakenly call his redemption itself - begin. Sohrab cries in Amir’s arms, and Amir realizes how much he loves Sohrab. “As the boy’s pain soaked through my shirt, I saw that a kinship had taken root between us too. What had happened in that room with Assef had irrevocably bound us” (320). Amir, having given up his own self-respect, had redeemed himself and forged a new self-respect based on his love for Sohrab.
Hassan is a loving character from the beginning to the end, and as such, he always respected others before himself. This is seen in his loyalty to Amir and Baba and in his genuine caring for the same, as well as his wife, son, and mother. As such, he lives a happy and loving life. However, just as Amir could only be selfless when he lost his self-worth, Hassan is so kind because he is a Hazara, and understands his lack of intrinsic self-worth in the eyes of others. When Amir throws pomegranates at Hassan, Hassan refuses to retaliate or even respond. Despite being hurt, he understands his place in society and that this is his rightful treatment. Besides, he respects Amir above himself, and so if he suffers more for Amir that would be better. In this way, Hassan is able to love Amir by not respecting himself. Amir feels the ever-present loyalty. “Everywhere I turned, I saw signs of his loyalty, his goddamn unwavering loyalty” (89). Where does this loyalty come from? Not from love alone, for as he refuses to hit Amir, he scowls. Not from servantry alone, for Amir commanded Hassan to hit him back. It is Hassan’s lack of caring for himself that allows him to sacrifice himself for Amir - as he would anyone.
The same theme is seen again in Baba. Baba is an honorable man - he’s described that way even by Amir when he is introduced. He is humanitarian, he has fostered a strong community and helped others so much, as well as shown so much love for Hassan. He does this because he has lost his respect for himself, not only after having an illegitimate child, but also after having to deny him, and to lie about him. In doing so, his internal idea of himself is torn apart, and he gains the ability - the need - to help others. Rahim Khan almost fully understands this, and he puts it quite well. “Good, real good, was born out of your father’s remorse. Sometimes, I think everything he did, feeding the poor on the streets, building the orphanage, giving money to friends in need, it was all his way of redeeming himself. And that, I believe, is what true redemption is, Amir jan, when guilt leads to good” (302). The only thing Rahim Khan is missing, and perhaps Hosseini as well, is that Baba, like Amir and Hassan, does this not for redemption. He does this because he must, because there is nothing left for him to do. Baba has no “guilt,” not really. What he has is a loss of self-worth because he sees himself as a fraud for lying, and he knows what he did would be seen as wrong by those around him.
The last character to be characterized interestingly in this way is Assef. He makes for a more interesting character to analyze than others because he fills the inverse to the theme: his narcissism leads to his hate for others. Assef’s narcissism is much less exposed than his sadism, but his self-view is seen in his reaction to being beaten in jail. “‘I kept laughing and laughing because suddenly I knew that had been a message from God: He was on my side. He wanted me to live for a reason’” (284). This contrasts with Amir’s similar experience, when he, too, starts laughing. While Amir reduces himself into a vessel for Sohrab’s happiness, Assef enlarges his ego and declares his own self-importance - so far as to attribute it to Godliness. Perhaps by nature, he is unable to give up his self. Throughout the book, he is Assef, doing for Assef, and as such, he never develops empathy, and spreads hate. Another effect of this attitude is that he sees the distinction between Pashtun and Hazara as a parallel of the distinction between himself and others. “Afghanistan is the land of Pashtuns. It always has been, always will be” (40). One might observe that Assef doesn’t believe that he - being blonde and blue-eyed - should be exterminated, as a minority. This is because Assef doesn’t see this as anything other than another assertion of his dominance over everything else, just another projection of his own self-worth.
The prevalence of this theme that redemption is a feeling, rather than an action, and that it comes from self-hate, is a disturbing one. It may never be known whether it was an intentional placement by Hosseini, or a manifestation of his darkest thoughts, but its existence within these characters - and almost all others, such as Rahim Khan, Ali, Sohrab, and Soraya - makes it one of the strongest themes in the book. Hosseini calls his story one of fatherhood, but the other themes present make it a striking and scary tale. The theme can serve as an excuse for not doing good, and makes a subtle statement that redemption is impossible, only the resignation of the self to good deeds, and implies that the good philanthropist without guilt is nonexistent.