The Artifact (Writing Dump)
First writing dump! This is from a while ago. It's a play I wrote at a summer camp and got to see acted out! It was really fun. This was a collaboration with princekb.
The Artifact
Time:
1840, under Queen Victoria
Place:
Europe and Asia
[Scene 1:Nicholas Charington is drinking spice tea in his flat.]
Nicholas: What does it mean when a man can’t even speak to his own mother for fear of ostracization? This is an outrage. What does it mean when you can’t have a second chance. I suppose it means that you are an outcast.
When I was granted Captainship to the HMS Bristol, I was ecstatic. I now had the world at my fingertips. Little did I know that this was only a burden.
I was charged with occupying France when the people there had begun to revolt. It was a revolution unlike any other. They were organized and professional. Since France is the center of innovative mechanical technology, what with its ownership of France Steam MechTech, Inc., the revolters had access to the newest and greatest of war machines. When the revolution began, the gears of war had begun to turn.
The travel was easy, although my shoulders were ever heavy with the impending burden. Little did I know that I was sailing toward the grim future of my life and country.
When I arrived in France, I was shocked. The revolution had destroyed the landscape. There was not a speck of green to be seen within hundreds of miles. I had a job to do, though, and I was ready to get my knees green.
The revolutionaries wanted me gone. British occupation in a time like this? I knew it was unacceptable, but Queen Victoria was fresh and still somewhat naive, although she learned quickly and was a strong ruler.
The first thing I met was a protest. It seemed civil, and I stepped in. Little did I know, but that was the beginning of the end.
Now it’s time to make things right. Queen Victoria needs something from India. She calls it “The Artifact.” I must travel to India and retrieve it. Only in that way can I win back my respect. My crew is waiting for me. Haza! For Queen Victoria and anyone who may proceed her! For anyone who stands in my way: I give you warning.
[Scene two: at the huge metal ship, the HMS Bristol]
Nicholas: I want this ship out of port, shipshape and bristol-fashion in 15 minutes.
First-mate Phillip: Yes, sir! There does appear to be a problem in the piping for the Steam-Wheel. [PAUSES]
Nicholas: Well? What are you waiting for? Go fix it!
Phillip: Yes, Nicholas--er... yes, sir.
[Nicholas takes the helm and begins to steer out of port South.]
Nicholas: We travel to the Strait of Gibraltar, through the Mediterranean, and find ourselves at the Suez Canal. This is a messy place, but we’ll get through it one way or another (hopefully with our ship intact), and travel down the Red 10a to the Bay of Bengal. The remaining trip should be easy, as long as we don’t run into a tempest.
Phillip: What about the land route? I hear Cashmere’s a mess.
Nicholas: We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
[The route goes well, until (Scene 3) halfway through the Red 10a, something unexpected happens.]
Phillip: 2 O’Clock: Starboard side! I see a vessel!
Nicholas: What are its markings? Does it bear the jolly roger?
Phillip: I can’t quite see... Let me view it through my glass... Sir, we have some pirates in our midst!
Nicholas: What is their ultimatum?
[Unintelligible shouting from Phillip]
Phillip: Not sure: it seems that they just don’t want us to pass.
Nicholas: Well, we’re passing. I have a reputation to win back. Stand by for boarding! Broadside grape cannon shot over the hulls. We’re not taking this light of heart. Phillip? Turn Starboard and prepare to board. Get the boarding chains. I’m sure we’ll win: our advanced metal ship is incomparably superior.
Phillip: Ready to board, sir! Shall I send the chain?
Nicholas: Yes! All hands! Bring your weapons!
Phillip: I’m on-- [Hit by bullet and swept off of mast]
[Nicholas boards ship and sees Kenneth: Rogers, the pirate]
Kenneth: Rogers: So it comes to this: ‘tis I that is burdened with killing the SpiceMaster himself.
Nicholas: What? I have no idea what you’re talking about?
Kenneth: So you don’t know your assignment? Do you know what it is you’re actually after?
Nicholas: I--I do: I have complete trust in my Queen and will retrieve The Artifact for her!
Kenneth: That is blind following, not trust! That is being brainwashed! You are ignorant, you know nothing of what India has to offer! There’s no wonder I split off from England: because of people like you, blundering through darkness, following with no idea where you are going. ‘Tis my job to end this ignorance, and I must end your petty life before I can. Your cute little queen wants seeds from a cinnamon plant, steam-treated to live in the harsh English environment. What say you?
Nicholas: I--This is an outrage! For Victoria and whoever may proceed her!
[Nicholas and Kenneth: have an extravagant fight. In the end:]
Nicholas: You’ll never best the power of the Queen, you fiend! [Pushes Kenneth: off ship]
Kenneth: No! You arrogant miscreant!
Nicholas: Now I must sink this insult of a ship and get back aboard the Bristol.... Oh! Easy: I’ll unplug the bilge.
[Scene three: Kenneth: is swimming back ashore]
Kenneth: Finally. I must catch up with him. I shall take a train to the port, and steal a ship!
[Scene four: The Bay of Bengal]
New first-mate Joseph: I see some large waves to the East: it looks pretty disgusting.
Nicholas: Oh, no. It appears we’ve got some storm to deal with. I hope this isn’t what I dread it is: an Indian Tempest.
Joseph: Some storm-clouds over there, too. And--Oh, no: lightning!
Nicholas: If this ship is struck by lightning, we’ll all be goners: its hull is made of metal. Also, the water may conduct electricity for nearby bolts: Joseph? I want you to go down to the bilge and overlay the metal bilge with tar to keep the electricity out.
[Ka-BOOM]
Joseph: Sir, we’ve lost our port Steam-Wheel! We have two options: 1.) We try to sail with the starboard wheel only, or 2.) We abandon the Steam-Wheels and try to sail through this mess.
Nicholas: Joseph, rig the mainsail: we’re going to sail straight through a Tempest.
Joseph: Yes, sir!
[Pretends to raise sail, then act like fighting through storm. Finally, storm begins to subside]
Nicholas: Ahh... It’s passing to the west now. I think the worst is over now.
Joseph: Yes. And here the storm has carried us quickly: we have made up for our lost time. We should arrive at the port within the hour. [PAUSES, and looks Northeast...] Land ho! We’re almost there!
[Arrive at port and (Scene five) begin land route]
Nicholas: Joseph go tell everybody the land route: We’ll travel the back way: here, use this map.
[Joseph relays instructions, and they begin to travel by train and by foot]
[Scene six: in Cashmere]
Nicholas: The map says we’ll find it on a mountain. Why don’t you stay down here with camp, we’ll need you there.
Joseph: Yes, sir!
Nicholas: Victoria says that lightning struck The Artifact and made it adaptable to England. I have no idea what she was talking about...
[Nicholas (and his suggested crew) climb the mountain, only to find Kenneth: Rogers already there]
Nicholas: Kenneth: Rogers. You heat my blood!
Kenneth: You have no use for this cinnamon. Your queen’s love means nothing, for it is fake. Your journeys are wasteful. I bet you’ve never even considered the prospect that you could take your little “Artifact” for yourself, have you?
Nicholas: Of course not. I, unlike you, have a moral compass. I can see what is right, what is wrong, what I need to do, and what I should do. You are an insult. You think yourself so clever, but I suppose you’ve never thought of receding to the shadows and living a life worth living, have you?
[Kenneth: sneaks up behind Nicholas and attempts to stab him.]
Nicholas: [Catches Kenneth: and binds him] You are dishonest, and that is a quality only the devil can value.
[Nicholas throughs Kenneth: to the ground, and looks down patronizingly at him. He then takes a scoop of seeds from a puddle at the peak of the mountain.]
Nicholas: Alas! The Artifact -- and my honor -- have been reclaimed! For Queen Victoria and anyone who may proceed her!