Drop
The lines are too straight. Too logical. She can't stand it. Life isn't logical, but humans place straight lines and restricting boxes to make it seem alright. It's not alright. She just needs to get up. Then it will be all okay. Climb and climb, that's all. Just the repetitive motion, the again and again. It's slightly calming against the searing pain all over. as changed. Why did she want that? It's not something she would ever choose now. But she has more important things to do. Her whole body is broken. Her one functioning arm pulls her up, again and again. The rocks destroy her bit by bit, tearing bloody, wretched cuts into her. But she can't pay any mind to it. She just needs to get up and it will all be better. She falls to the ground, unable to move anymore. Suddenly the pain all comes rushing back in all its unbearable force. She had thought the pain was unbearable then. The slight tears to the mind and the heart. She had given up. But that was nothing now. Dust in the wind. She has been through the impossible, and she is surviving.... She's not surviving. The pain is returning, the cuts too deep, the bones too broken, the muscles too fatigued. The cold wind picks up, it drives deep into every cut and makes it burn. But the numbness won't come back. She's given up hope again, all is lost. She doesn't quit give up. She still lies there, struggling to move, to ignore the pain. She just wants to go where it will go away, where she can start again. She starts to dream. She isn't asleep but the real world seems to cruel to exist. She starts making up new worlds.... She's returned to her town. She's admitted everything. Her dad cries some, calls her mom. He tries to fix her up a bit for the way to the hospital. Makeshift bandages cover her, the car speeds away. The hospital makes quick work with her, in months she's okay. She starts to go to school again. The kids start to treat her nicely again, they realize what they've done. She even starts to get good grades, to enjoy school again. Degrees, laughs, happiness. Even love. Her work, a family... She's on the cliff again. She needs to move. She has no idea how long she's been dreaming but she needs to move. She pulls once more and the red pool of blood covers the entire area she rested. But now she needs to move. Her dream must come true. She needs to climb. She pulls up again and again, time after time. She starts to move in a rhythm. Her mind starts to wander again, but this time she still moves. She tries hard to think ahead again; to dream. But her mind goes backwards towards the nightmares. They don't accept anyone, she thinks to herself. They are cruel to everyone but their own kind, and all it takes to be one of them is to be cruel just like they want you to be. They try to shape society; shape the people. They don't like difference, or change. It scares them. They want to be able to count on knowing who you are. They don't want to have to discover for themselves. She knows she's done nothing wrong, but she can't help but think she could've changed things. No, wait. Stop thinking there. No, things are different now. It's like Martin Luther King Jr said. "I've been to the mountaintop and I've seen the other side." Except this time it's literal, and she hasn't been to the mountaintop, she's been to the valley. No, she can't think of that now. The sudden impulse, the stupid resolutions. The one jerk of a muscle, the sudden desire to go back, the back stepping but losing traction. This was the feeling of having no way out, not those feelings she had earlier. No, it was this that was the pain. The intensely long soar down, suddenly switching to the hope to be saved. But then the feeling of horror when she saw the water. The chance of only feeling so much more pain instead of ending it. But it was fleeting, and then she was filled with relief. She would make it. She could try again. She could backtrack. And then the impact. The immense force of her fall against her chest, her legs, and her arm. The feeling of death. For a moment she thought she might be dead. But then her eyes open again, and she sees the gorgeous world. She had stopped climbing for a second when she ought of that impact, the judgement of it all. She suddenly lost her charge again. She fell to the cliff again, weak and limp. But then she looked up once more, and she saw she was so close. So freaking close. She had to make it. She had to climb the last bit. But she couldn't do it. After all, that has been her whole life. Always so close.